Stress and Power
Books by Kelly McGonigal
The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal is a renewed look at how our brains are wired. I really appreciate her writing style, blending nerdy brain science with simple, consumable reading for the average learner.
She has three categories of power that we need to consider - ‘I will’ power, ‘I won't’ power, and the power of ‘what I want’. If asked in the past, I would have named only one - the power of ‘I won't’ - in the context of using willpower to stop doing something I consider 'bad' for me. Trying to not eat the sugary snack. Trying to not collapse on the couch to watch TV instead of exercising.
I thought I was poor at willpower as I ate my snack watching my screen.
The revitalizing approach that McGonigal explains, is that each of the three factors are important. It's not enough to identify what you won't do. Including what you will do instead, and aligning your actions to your values and goals, what you want in the long term, all help curb those impulsive acts.
I highly recommend doing all her chapter exercises. I spent many weeks on chapters two and three - I have a history of being 'too tired' and her explanation helped me reframe my disappointment from past failures. She gives new life to our exercise, meditation and healthy eating practices.
The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal is a refreshing reminder that all stress is not bad for us. She takes a look at stress as something to be expected and an aspect of your life that you can be good at, selective of, and work with (instead of against).
"We don't get to choose between a stress-full or a stress-free experience of family, work, community, love, learning, or health." If there is something meaningful in your life that causing stress, consider why this aspect is so important to you.
McGonigal’s book offers practical ways to transform stress from seeing it as a threat to stepping up to a challenge; or reframing being overwhelmed to being hopeful; and taking a service mindset to set bigger-than-self goals.
It's not at all uncommon to wish for a life without stress. While this is a natural desire, pursuing it comes at a heavy cost. In fact, many of the negative outcomes we associate with stress may actually be the consequence of trying to avoid it [such as] a reduced sense of well-being, life satisfaction and happiness.
Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress
Kelly McGonigal’s books are well worth the time and attention to read and work through with your own life examples.
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Thanks for the great reviews, Jacquie. I hadn't heard of "The Willpower Instinct" before, and I'm definitely interested as someone else who thinks of himself as having poor willpower in general (and also needs to start being more active).