Listen to Inner Guidance

Calm the mind

Mar 28, 2025

We all make decisions without all the information. Typically, when we are challenged to move forward with little information, it feels stressful and scary. Sometimes others’ needs or goals may not make sense to us, or others may not give enough information when the situation seems ambiguous.

Doing the self-reflection work to update our personal mission and vision when times are good and we are feeling successful is optimal. That's not how it always plays out - usually we don't think about our values until something has gone off the tracks. We are confused about or questioning the direction we are taking. Overwhelm sets in and we feel stuck. But it is never too late to begin again.

Sometimes we are choosing between less than desirable options, but there is always a choice. As different opportunities arise depending on the changes in our work or family needs, which direction will we choose? If we are not actively making decisions and following our own plan - then we risk becoming a part of someone else's plan.

I love starting new things because of the thrill of doing something that I haven't done before. For most of my career, I prided myself on being able to figure things out quickly and was willing to accept the challenges. In the past, most ventures were fair game. Over time, I have become more selective in what I take on. There are certain challenges that I don't want to participate in because I don't see a win-win solution (office politics).

Recently, I was frustrated about an imbalance in my involvement. I was too involved in the decision-making on a task that was someone else’s purview. There were consequences that would impact me if a decision wasn't made soon, and I was invested in the outcome. Upon reflection, though, I wondered about the overall consequences. I could clearly see the impact the lack of decision made on my workload, but perhaps there wasn't as great a significance on the others'. Was it my place to be so involved; perhaps I could let go of the need to influence someone else’s decision.

Self-awareness is the ability to objectively reflect on situations, people and yourself. Quickly learning from that introspection is what makes leaders stand apart. Some people may have developed this self-discipline naturally, but I think for most, it is something that needs to be consciously learned and honed. Although there's probably a business book out there that explains how the author has found success (and I've ready many of them), studying others’ examples is only one aspect of learning about our self. For real results, we must experiment, apply, and do the inner work while experiencing the outer world.

When I am particularly frustrated with something, I have a friend who is really good at reflective listening that I go to for help. The great thing about good listeners, is that when they can reflect back to me the essence of my message, without the high emotions I may be experiencing, chances are, I can hear my own solution that was mixed in with the complaints and worries in my head.

When you are fully present to the moment, the choices are clear.

When I listen to others and reflect or paraphrase back to them, I feel able to help them help themselves. Being a good listener relieves me of trying to solve their problems for them. When I am present in the moment and am listening with an open mind, I can tune out distractions and fears - both mine and theirs. As an observer, I can summarize what they’ve said, offer a different way to view the situation, and facilitate a way to get unstuck and move forward.

A more challenging task is to listen to myself during difficult times and to be an observer internally when my emotions are high. Sometimes my external message is in alignment with my internal thoughts, and sometimes it isn’t. Being able to listen to myself, gives me clear choices about what I want and what I can do about my situation. I call it my inner guidance. What do I already know, if only I can quiet the mind and listen to that inner voice.

Similar Posts