Finding ease, peace and enlightenment comes in as many forms as there are people and circumstance. We often stereotype or limit our understanding of what joy could be, or how to recognize it, and how we might express it. For many years, I returned to my meditation practice in search of this elusive something. I don't remember being able to express what I was searching for, what I was turning toward. In the early days, the need to reduce the pain took precedence, I could only express what I didn’t want. I only learned later to say 'I am seeking joy.'
Finally, I heard the phrase 'we must cultivate joy' - it gave me such a jolt. I believed that if only I could reduce my pain, ease my suffering - the main reasons for pursuing a meditation practice - the joy would automatically arise. I thought if I could overcome the negatives, the joy would somehow naturally just be there, waiting. This revelation initiated my conscious effort, my broad expansion, my redefined practice on what it was to cultivate joy.
It continues to surprise me that I must consciously develop and make different choices that move me towards joy.
With any new addition to my practice, I assume a learning curve. More energy is needed to ‘learn how-to’ - I need to have time to make mistakes, try new methods, evaluate if it is going well, adjust if it isn’t. Learning how to focus on joy, includes some thinking on defining joy, make changes to put myself into joyful experiences, etc. If I am going to need energy for learning how-to become joyful, what else has to give so that I have capacity.
It is as much effort, for me, to cultivate joy, as to ease my stress.
When my friend - who is much more joyful, and active, and creative - said she lets her writing be dictated by where the energy takes her. If she doesn’t have energy for the chapter she planned, she writes a different segment. The story may go in a completely different direction, and she is ok with it. My first thought about this - was that she should just push through, be disciplined, and write what had been planned. Just do it ‘the right way’.
Meanwhile, after working with her and seeing how her process is so much more fun, and lively and inspirational, for her and for her readers, I realized - isn’t that the point? Not to complete the project as outlined, but to be inspirational.
That is an example of how I also don’t even know what my joy is. I have habitual thinking that my joy would be to finish according to the plan. I’ve been thinking once I finished, then I would enjoy. I keep postponing, or making joy conditional - when this is done, then I will have joy.
I like the phrase ‘cultivate joy’ because it includes imagery and elements of sowing seeds, watering sprouts, and plucking out weeds to make room for the tender shoots. Each stage has aspects to be joyful about, not just the final stage of having a grown plant or a large flower (to extend the analogy).
Creating and maintaining the space for the joy to grow and flourish is a long term commitment and it is not possible to know all the options. This is key for me to select something that has a clear way to provide me with joy at each stage. I don’t want to continue my old habit of delaying gratification until the final stage.
I must begin again, and make new decisions along the way.
Yesssssss. Wonderful reminder! Joy is the path; whether in washing dishes or writing that next chapter. Summon the joy! Thank you, Jacquie!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, Jacquie. Such a timely reminder that we can 'achieve' more by surrendering, letting go, subtracting than we do by 'efforting'. Wishing you much creative joy on your path!